Bad Process Analysis

How to wrap a home-made Christmas present:

Step 1: You cut a hole in the box
Step 2: Put your junk in that box

:)

Ok, for realsies:


How to kill a man:

Step 1: First, demoralize him to the point that he is no longer connected to his friends or family, so that no one will notice when he’s gone
Step 2: Make sure all of his assets are in your name


Hmmm, I’ll try again.


How to avoid writing on a topic you just can’t seem to write about:

Step 1: Check your email. Since it’s been about 30 seconds since the last time you checked, quickly move on to step 2.

Step 2: Check various social networking sites, including, but not limited to: MySpace, Facebook, Tagged, Linked In, and Good Reads. After realizing that no one updates their pages on a Sunday evening move on to step 3.

Step 3: Say ‘fuck it’ and check your chat list to see who is online. End up chatting with a new boy and saying funny things like “awesome. I wish I could control satellites.”

Step 4: Either go back to writing, realizing that being smarmy and self-evident can be funny, at least to one person (i.e. me) or just go the fuck to bed.